The following is an excerpt from Sarah Palin's forthcoming Magnum Opus* Going Rogue, leaked to me by one of the few friends in publishing I have left that has not been shitcanned due to American Bibliophobia. More to follow, as it comes in.
EXCERPTED FROM CHAPTER FOURTEEN – WHO’S THAT A’KNOCKIN’?* Sarah Palin has no idea what this means, but assumes it to be an insult or slander of some kind and will be posting a stern denial via Teh Facebooks as soon as she's finished taking the Should Obama Be Killed Poll.
It was clear to me from the start that Jesus wanted me for the position of that Vice President position, the Vice Presidency, as they say, also. So when I got that call from Old Johnny asking me should I like that Position Flexible – that the Founders, they are so wise and constitutionally, were so wise assigning duties, as the Founders – I heard Jesus whisper in my ear, “This is you’re calling, Sarah Palin! Position Flexible, Sarah! Go!” So that was darn sweet of Him, I thought. Also.
And I accepted right away, on the spot, except for the time I gathered all my girls together but not my son God only knows where he was, also, and made them vote whether mommy should listen to Jesus for the nominating and they said “Let's do this, mom!” except of course also they didn’t know until the day we all flew to Ohio. Or maybe it was Michigan. So they voted, of course, because I needed my girls to tell me it was okay this Vice Presidency nominatings, also, but I can’t remember them actually knowing about it until after I accepted, so the voting may have been about if we should have had the KFC or the Taco Bell to celebrate that night, also. I think we had Taco Bell.
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