Zany hijinks from the sporting world, chaps

#1

Category: Consciousness

Background: Carlos Beltran of the Mets responds to Phillies god-like pitcher, World Series MVP, husband-of-hottie-Heidi-Strobel (link NSFW) Cole Hamels. Cole called the Mets "choke artists".

Carlos responds: 

"The only thing that I know is he will be watched every time he faces us. Hopefully we kill him, and then he'll have to deal with the situation."

#2
Category: Earnestness, nervousness and spelling issues

Background: New 49'ers coach/bears Hall of Famer was trying to answer a question from an audience of season ticket holders about his commitment to smash-mouth football and the defense's lingering tendency to hold back. 

He summed up his philosophy thusly: We're going to be "Physical with an F"

#3
Category: Someone had to use it... I guess. Fox couldn't resist.
Background: The Saints cut RB Deuce McAllister
Headline:


Thanks to Deadspin for making me laugh