Chicago Bears draft pick, defensive end Jarron Gilbert of San Jose State can jump out of a pool. I'm not sure what it has to do with football, but it's pretty impressive.
4.28.2009
4.27.2009
OSU study: Conservatives don't realize Colbert is mocking them
(Huff Post)
Last week, Stephen Colbert revisited a segment he had done on Florida Representative Bill Posey, who sponsored a bill that "would require future presidential candidates to provide a copy of their original birth certificate," in order to put insane rumors of President Barack Obama's birthplace to bed.
Colbert thought a similar measure should be taken to end the whisperings that Posey was a human-alligator hybrid. Posey, in response to Colbert, said, "I expected there would be some civil debate about it, but it wasn't civil...There is no reason to say that I'm the illegitimate grandson of an alligator." And one wondered, "Does Posey not realize that Colbert is not speaking in earnest? His reaction seems uniquely stupid!"
Stupid, yes. But apparently it's not unique at all, according to a study from Ohio State University, which proves, with math and stuff, that lots of conservatives seem to not understand the intrinsic, underlying joke of The Colbert Report:
Last week, Stephen Colbert revisited a segment he had done on Florida Representative Bill Posey, who sponsored a bill that "would require future presidential candidates to provide a copy of their original birth certificate," in order to put insane rumors of President Barack Obama's birthplace to bed.
Colbert thought a similar measure should be taken to end the whisperings that Posey was a human-alligator hybrid. Posey, in response to Colbert, said, "I expected there would be some civil debate about it, but it wasn't civil...There is no reason to say that I'm the illegitimate grandson of an alligator." And one wondered, "Does Posey not realize that Colbert is not speaking in earnest? His reaction seems uniquely stupid!"
Stupid, yes. But apparently it's not unique at all, according to a study from Ohio State University, which proves, with math and stuff, that lots of conservatives seem to not understand the intrinsic, underlying joke of The Colbert Report:
This study investigated biased message processing of political satire in The Colbert Report and the influence of political ideology on perceptions of Stephen Colbert. Results indicate that political ideology influences biased processing of ambiguous political messages and source in late-night comedy. Using data from an experiment (N = 332), we found that individual-level political ideology significantly predicted perceptions of Colbert's political ideology. Additionally, there was no significant difference between the groups in thinking Colbert was funny, but conservatives were more likely to report that Colbert only pretends to be joking and genuinely meant what he said while liberals were more likely to report that Colbert used satire and was not serious when offering political statements. Conservatism also significantly predicted perceptions that Colbert disliked liberalism. Finally, a post hoc analysis revealed that perceptions of Colbert's political opinions fully mediated the relationship between political ideology and individual-level opinion.I think a lot of conservatives are going to pissed when they realize that Stephen Colbert's performance at the 2006 White House Correspondents' Dinner was not, in fact, an awkward and ineffective attempt to praise President George W. Bush, but actually a bitter and satiric criticism of his incompetence!
Texas douchebaggery
So Gov. Rick Perry of Texas asked the C.D.C. to send 37,430 doses of Tamiflu. This is the same Rick Perry who threatened to secede from the union less than 2 weeks ago. Perhaps we should send all of Texas' Tamiflu to states who are happy to be in our little union. Perhaps Texas can conjure up some Tamiflu by reading Ayn Rand? Wouldn't a real way to "Go Galt" be to turn away government attempts to save your ignorant lives interfere?
Perhaps Rick could buy some Tamiflu from.... oh wait, if you secede then all you have are LoneStar Bucks. Good luck buying medical supplies with your fairy dust of a currency.
Dipshits.
Perhaps Rick could buy some Tamiflu from.... oh wait, if you secede then all you have are LoneStar Bucks. Good luck buying medical supplies with your fairy dust of a currency.
Dipshits.
Taliban execution; frontier justice, just like in Texas
(Telegraph)
Their deaths were squalid, riddled with bullets in a field near their home by Taliban gunmen as the execution was captured on a mobile telephone.
In footage which is being watched with horror by Pakistanis, the couple try to flee when they realise what is about to happen. But a gunman casually shoots the man and then the woman in the back with a burst of gunfire, leaving them bleeding in the dirt.
Moments later, when others in the execution party shout out that they are still alive, he returns to coldly finish them with a few more rounds.
Their "crime" was an alleged affair in their remote mountain village controlled by militants in an area that was only recently under the government's sway. It was the kind of barbarity that has become increasingly familiar across Pakistan as the Taliban tide has spread.
But this time, with black-turbaned gunmen almost at the gates of Islamabad, the rare footage has shown urban Pakistanis what could now await them.
(Read more)
WARNING: graphic footage
Their deaths were squalid, riddled with bullets in a field near their home by Taliban gunmen as the execution was captured on a mobile telephone.
In footage which is being watched with horror by Pakistanis, the couple try to flee when they realise what is about to happen. But a gunman casually shoots the man and then the woman in the back with a burst of gunfire, leaving them bleeding in the dirt.
Moments later, when others in the execution party shout out that they are still alive, he returns to coldly finish them with a few more rounds.
Their "crime" was an alleged affair in their remote mountain village controlled by militants in an area that was only recently under the government's sway. It was the kind of barbarity that has become increasingly familiar across Pakistan as the Taliban tide has spread.
But this time, with black-turbaned gunmen almost at the gates of Islamabad, the rare footage has shown urban Pakistanis what could now await them.
(Read more)
WARNING: graphic footage
Al Gore returns to Senate, gets stupid question from Gingrich handmaiden
Al Gore, testifying before a Senate committee on climate was questioned by Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn.) about his business interests. Blackburn, in a ham-handed attempt, tried to paint Gore, who was testifying just before former House Majority Leader Newt Gingrich - who was to take the opposite position, arguing the environment was just fiiiiiine - as a robber baron, looking to get rich on all this Earth hooey.
(Huff Post)
An exasperated former vice president dealt with questioning from his home state Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn.).
"Thank you for your patience today," Blackburn began, before asking him if he was familiar with a company that stood to profit in a green economy.
"Well yes, I'm a partner," said Gore, laughing.
Well then, said Blackburn, is it true that you're pushing all this climate change stuff because you're trying to get rich?
That was enough to bring out the first sigh. "If you believe the reason I have been working on this issue for 30 years is because of greed, you don't know me," he said.
Blackburn replied that she was merely looking for "clarification."
"I understand exactly what you're doing, congresswoman. Everyone here does," said Gore.
Blackburn wondered if Gore would donate his profits to charity. Gore told her he already does. "I've been wiling to put my money where my mouth is. Do you think there's something wrong with being active in business in this country?" he asked.
Just asking, Blackburn said, this time eliciting an even more audible sigh, followed by a disbelieving head-shake.
(Huff Post)
An exasperated former vice president dealt with questioning from his home state Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-Tenn.).
"Thank you for your patience today," Blackburn began, before asking him if he was familiar with a company that stood to profit in a green economy.
"Well yes, I'm a partner," said Gore, laughing.
Well then, said Blackburn, is it true that you're pushing all this climate change stuff because you're trying to get rich?
That was enough to bring out the first sigh. "If you believe the reason I have been working on this issue for 30 years is because of greed, you don't know me," he said.
Blackburn replied that she was merely looking for "clarification."
"I understand exactly what you're doing, congresswoman. Everyone here does," said Gore.
Blackburn wondered if Gore would donate his profits to charity. Gore told her he already does. "I've been wiling to put my money where my mouth is. Do you think there's something wrong with being active in business in this country?" he asked.
Just asking, Blackburn said, this time eliciting an even more audible sigh, followed by a disbelieving head-shake.
Doing time in Catholic school
So I was 70's-80's, not 50's-60's, and I didn't have Latin Mass. BUT the rest of this is oddly funny/cringe-inducing/flashback-worthy. Only the vets of the Nun wars get this, but it's worth the read.
One thought: I've met people who went to Catholic school who never saw corporal punishment, but the exception doesn't disprove the thesis. Second thought: any chance that the laissez-faire oversight that the schools received from the 50's to the early-80's is also showing up in the scandals plaguing the church in the last decade?
A Catholic-School Veteran Tells All
(David Noonan - Newsweek)
Every once in a while I run into someone who, like me, attended Catholic school in the '50s and '60s. These encounters usually follow a pattern. We establish terms of service—I put in 13 years, including kindergarten—test our memories of the Baltimore Catechism and the Latin mass, and recall things like meatless Fridays, the scourge of "impure thoughts" and Limbo, the nice but God-free place where babies who died before baptism spent eternity (and which the church essentially did away with in 2007). There is an odd charm to much of this, a quaint and funny weirdness that only another Catholic from that era can truly appreciate.
But the conversations inevitably turn to a decidedly less charming subject—getting smacked by nuns. I have no idea whether slapping kids across the face was officially sanctioned by the church in those days. I only know it happened, to me and plenty of other kids. The nuns who smacked me and my friends at our small elementary school in New Jersey were Sisters of Charity, a cheap bit of irony that always draws a chuckle when I talk about being on the receiving end of those holy rights and lefts.
Full article
One thought: I've met people who went to Catholic school who never saw corporal punishment, but the exception doesn't disprove the thesis. Second thought: any chance that the laissez-faire oversight that the schools received from the 50's to the early-80's is also showing up in the scandals plaguing the church in the last decade?
A Catholic-School Veteran Tells All
(David Noonan - Newsweek)
Every once in a while I run into someone who, like me, attended Catholic school in the '50s and '60s. These encounters usually follow a pattern. We establish terms of service—I put in 13 years, including kindergarten—test our memories of the Baltimore Catechism and the Latin mass, and recall things like meatless Fridays, the scourge of "impure thoughts" and Limbo, the nice but God-free place where babies who died before baptism spent eternity (and which the church essentially did away with in 2007). There is an odd charm to much of this, a quaint and funny weirdness that only another Catholic from that era can truly appreciate.
But the conversations inevitably turn to a decidedly less charming subject—getting smacked by nuns. I have no idea whether slapping kids across the face was officially sanctioned by the church in those days. I only know it happened, to me and plenty of other kids. The nuns who smacked me and my friends at our small elementary school in New Jersey were Sisters of Charity, a cheap bit of irony that always draws a chuckle when I talk about being on the receiving end of those holy rights and lefts.
Full article
Carl Edwards crashes into fence, does a Ricky Bobby across finish line
8 people got hurt when his car shattered on the fencing (which, remarkably) held.
But the kicker is him running across the finish line. There are no reports if he was asking Oprah or Tom Cruise to intercede.
But the kicker is him running across the finish line. There are no reports if he was asking Oprah or Tom Cruise to intercede.
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
4.23.2009
Big split at Fox over torture; Shep gets it, Hannity (gasp!) doesn't, O'Reilly douchebags
Fox News viewers witnessed a rather incredible scene on Wednesday as anchor Shepard Smith and Fox contributor Judith Miller (of CIA leak infamy) repeatedly and passionately condemned torture, with Smith declaring at one point, "We are America, we don't torture! And the moment that is not the case, I want off the train! This government is of, by, and for the people -- that means it's mine. That means -- I'm not saying what is torture, and what is not torture, but I'm saying, whatever it is, you don't do it for me! I want off the train when the government starts -- I want off, next stop, now!"
The full segment is worth a watch. And Smith felt strongly enough about the issue to speak out about it again as he was heading into commercial break.
"They better not do it," he said. "If we are going to be Ronald Reagan's Shining City on the Hill, we don't get to torture. We don't do it." Fade to black.
On FoxNews.com's online show The Strategy Room, Smith took his opposition to a whole other level. "We are America!" he shouted, slamming his hand on the table. "I don't give a rat's ass if it helps. We are AMERICA! We do not fucking torture!!"
Sean Hannity had actor Charles Grodin on his show tonight, and the two men actually had some genuinely good natured sparring with each other over the news of the week. Hannity asked Grodin if he'd ever accept a book from Hugo Chavez or listen to a speech by a "brutal thug murdering dictator like Daniel Ortega." Grodin's respective ripostes were "I'd hand him my book!" and "I'd listen to anybody. I'm listening to you." Grodin then went on to ask Hannity if he was wearing mascara and if he had any plans to marry Ann Coulter. But that's not the fun part! This is the fun part:
Later, Grodin called Hannity a fascist and repeatedly asked him what branch of the military he served in, the end.
Ellis Henican tries to give Bill O'Reilly some facts and logic. O'Reilly responds: "LOUD NOISES!" and shows his true colors. Bill cannot handle logic. In his mind, any investigation is compromised just because his party is not in office.
The full segment is worth a watch. And Smith felt strongly enough about the issue to speak out about it again as he was heading into commercial break.
"They better not do it," he said. "If we are going to be Ronald Reagan's Shining City on the Hill, we don't get to torture. We don't do it." Fade to black.
On FoxNews.com's online show The Strategy Room, Smith took his opposition to a whole other level. "We are America!" he shouted, slamming his hand on the table. "I don't give a rat's ass if it helps. We are AMERICA! We do not fucking torture!!"
Sean Hannity had actor Charles Grodin on his show tonight, and the two men actually had some genuinely good natured sparring with each other over the news of the week. Hannity asked Grodin if he'd ever accept a book from Hugo Chavez or listen to a speech by a "brutal thug murdering dictator like Daniel Ortega." Grodin's respective ripostes were "I'd hand him my book!" and "I'd listen to anybody. I'm listening to you." Grodin then went on to ask Hannity if he was wearing mascara and if he had any plans to marry Ann Coulter. But that's not the fun part! This is the fun part:
GRODIN: You're for torture.
HANNITY: I am for enhanced interrogation.
GRODIN: You don't believe it's torture. Have you ever been waterboarded?
HANNITY: No, but Ollie North has.
GRODIN: Would you consent to be waterboarded? We can waterboard you?
HANNITY: Sure.
GRODIN: Are you busy on Sunday?
HANNITY: I'll do it for charity. I'll let you do it. I'll do it for the troops' families.
Later, Grodin called Hannity a fascist and repeatedly asked him what branch of the military he served in, the end.
Ellis Henican tries to give Bill O'Reilly some facts and logic. O'Reilly responds: "LOUD NOISES!" and shows his true colors. Bill cannot handle logic. In his mind, any investigation is compromised just because his party is not in office.
Oh snap: Hillary to Pence "Obama won the election"
Hopefully (naive, I know) this puts the whole "Handshake with Hugo" to rest. There is NO counter-argument. None.
Hillary's 3 points:
1) Obama loves America and wants her to be safer
2) The last 8 years of trying to isolate Chavez did nothing and did not serve our interests
3) Obama won the freaking election and has the right to choose the path he sees as best.
She didn't, but could have, added "So suck it, bitch".
Hillary's 3 points:
1) Obama loves America and wants her to be safer
2) The last 8 years of trying to isolate Chavez did nothing and did not serve our interests
3) Obama won the freaking election and has the right to choose the path he sees as best.
She didn't, but could have, added "So suck it, bitch".
Torture didn't come from higher up?
From Andrew Sullivan, an FBI interrogator speaks out.
Soufan notes that torture was applied to Zubaydah even though he had provided a great deal of actionable and accurate intelligence from traditional Western interrogation techniques. But he adds a critical detail: CIA officers were in the room during the traditional interrogation tactics. They knew he was cooperative. They did not want to start torturing him. Someone higher up ordered them.
The reason for the torture order apparently has to do with a suspicion from the higher-ups that Zubaydah had additional information he wasn't revealing to interrogators.
That information? The fake Iraq-9/11 connection.
Let's be perfectly clear here. This is a criminal conspiracy to go to war. Torture has clearly been used as a means to invent a pretext and, after the invasion, as a means to perpetuate The Glorious Cause.
Rove, Cheney diagnosed with Balzheimer's
(Huff Post)
Jon Stewart took a few minutes at the top of Wednesday night's show to marvel at the way Dick Cheney and Karl Rove had become, for the first time ever, advocates for such concepts as accountability, and transparency, and not telling the American people to go and suck it, every single day of their lives. "It seems the classifiers have become the declassifyees," an attitude that contrasted distinctly with about every clip of the two men the Daily Show had in their archives.
So, what gives? An acute inflammation of partisan hackery? Actually, the diagnosis was Balzheimer's Disease:
And in what sort of world do Dick Cheney and Karl Rove decry partisanship and passionately declare their support for government transparency? The only explanation is Bizarro Washington, to which correspondent John Oliver was dispatched. "It's here and only here where this news makes sense. There, he discovered that up is down, Barney Frank is straight, and the Dick Cheney is a "merry old soul" who the children call "Saint Dickolas."
Jon Stewart took a few minutes at the top of Wednesday night's show to marvel at the way Dick Cheney and Karl Rove had become, for the first time ever, advocates for such concepts as accountability, and transparency, and not telling the American people to go and suck it, every single day of their lives. "It seems the classifiers have become the declassifyees," an attitude that contrasted distinctly with about every clip of the two men the Daily Show had in their archives.
So, what gives? An acute inflammation of partisan hackery? Actually, the diagnosis was Balzheimer's Disease:
STEWART: Balzheimer's is a terrible illness, that attacks
the memory, and gives its victims the balls to attack others for things that
they themselves made a career of. There is no known cure. But it can be treated,
with body art.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | M - Th 11p / 10c |
| Balzheimers Disease | |
And in what sort of world do Dick Cheney and Karl Rove decry partisanship and passionately declare their support for government transparency? The only explanation is Bizarro Washington, to which correspondent John Oliver was dispatched. "It's here and only here where this news makes sense. There, he discovered that up is down, Barney Frank is straight, and the Dick Cheney is a "merry old soul" who the children call "Saint Dickolas."
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | M - Th 11p / 10c |
| Bizarro Washington | |
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