Rep. Barney Frank: Is There an Antidote to the Republican Amnesia?

Memory eventually fails us all, but apparently the decline strikes one party far more than the other.

In recent weeks, my friends across the aisle have expended a lot of breath proclaiming that the Democrats caused the present financial crisis by failing to pass legislation to regulate financial services companies in the years 1995 through 2006.

There is only small one problem with this story -- throughout this entire period the Republicans were in complete charge of the House and for the most critical years they controlled the House, the Senate, and the Presidency.
read more at HuffPost

Prank War

(Deadspin)
The kids at College Humor pulled off what we'd have to consider a prank of epic proportions; one guy put a fake marriage proposal on the big screen at Yankee Stadium as his friend, the object of the prank, sat agape with his girlfriend, who, amazingly, said "yes" before he had a chance to alert her to the joke. When we first watched it, it seemed too over-the-top to be real. But we've spoken with Amir Blumenfeld, the architect of the prank, and we now can merely salute him.



Fast-forward 18 months later, revenge is a dish best served at a Maryland basketball game.

The goofballs in question are Amir and Streeter from College Humor. While Streeter was on the "slapped in the face" end of the Stadium prank, he one upped his colleague this time by incorporating the entire crowd at last night's Maryland-Wake Forest game into his payback scheme. The set up: Amir believed he would be taking a half court shot for $500,000. The twist: He would be blindfolded, so only the crowd reaction would let him know if he had made it.

Lawrence O'Donnell Reduces Eric Cantor To Babbling

(Huff Post)
Media Monitor Brian Cohoon drew our attention to this clip from MSNBC's Morning Joe, where Lawrence O'Donnell subjects Eric Cantor to some sort of reporting-like substance, effortlessly reducing Cantor to nonsense.

Basically, O'Donnell asks Cantor a straight question: "Are you going to vote for the 'tax seizure bill'?" That's the bill introduced by Charles Rangel that would recover these AIG bonuses that threaten to bring civilization to its knees. Cantor's basic answer is no, but the roundabout evasions are a heaven-sent melange of tongue-tripping malarkey: "LISTEN," Cantor purrs, "I am for whatever we can do right now to get that money back into the Treasury." Except that "whatever we can do right now" isn't, as it turns out, a PLAN. What follows, roughly paraphrased from the original Cantorese, is this: "But uhm, WHY ARE WE HERE TO BEGIN WITH ... and the Rangel bill is terrible tax policy ... but I will get those bonus payments back, with NECROMANCY, or I'll pass a bill that requires Tim Geithner to figure all of this out, on pain of death or something."

O'Donnell summarizes: "What you're telling us today is that you have no idea how to get the money back, we'd like to ask the Treasury Secretary to do it. We will not vote for Charlie Rangel's tax proposal." Then they argue some more. Finally, out of nowhere, you hear Joe Scarborough say, "He's going to vote FOR it!" But Scarborough has nothing in all the world upon which to base this conclusion.

Anyway, Eric Cantor, the guy just oozes leadership. Probably from a weepy pustule.

Start at 2:45 right after Doucheborough finishes fellating Cantor.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Let The Right One In trailer

A fragile, anxious boy, 12-year-old Oskar is regularly bullied by his stronger classmates but never strikes back. The lonely boys wish for a friend seems to comes true when he meets Eli, also 12, who moves in next door to him. But Elis arrival coincides with a series of gruesome deaths and attacks. Though Oskar realizes that she's a vampire, his friendship with her is stronger than his fear... Swedish filmmaker Tomas Alfredson weaves friendship, rejection and loyalty into a disturbing, darkly atmospheric, yet unexpectedly tender tableau of adolescence.

The new face of crime: white people are scary

Bill O'Reilly seduces your ass

Yup, someone has dug up clips of Bill-O reading his porno novel Those Who Trespass, his 1998 novel about an O'Reilly-esque TV journalist who is trained by an Irish Republican Army terrorist to kill the people who deserve it the most: the broadcast news bastards who interfered with the O'Reilly character's career. It's personal on the political level, too -- his victims includes a powerful "bitch" named Hillary and a fat "slob" named Martin Moore.

Observations:  Bill's sex talk must be bracing, seeing as how he details it here.  Oh, and he has a very strong fixation with breasts. 

Bill is getting all slow-jam on yo azz. 

"Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up."

"I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on."

"Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds."

"Off with those pants."

Bill O'Reilly Tells You How to Do It

Cunnilingus tips from Bill.
 

One teen gives head while another smokes crack.
 

Pipe slow-jam music into your shower!
  

Bizarre confessions: "I wish I were a lesbian."
 

George Clooney in Chad (Darfur)

In Darfur, Clooney is an activist first, then actor

George Clooney recently took a trip to Chad to highlight the refugee situation, as thousands of people pour across the border trying to escape ethnic cleansing in Darfur.  Clooney invited NBC along, as well as Pultizer Prize winning journalist Nicholas Kristof.

Goals for Chad: safety and hope

To save the children:

George Clooney also filmed a personal videoblog ("the Clooney cam").

Bathroom tour:

Rooming with a Pulitzer Prize winner:

Connected?

W. Neil Berrett quit his job by presenting his boss with a resignation letter on a sheet cake.


And my question is, was his boss Mike Tyson?

Teabagger Santelli supports AIG bonuses

So Rick Santelli, he of the 'rewarding-the-housing-market-losers' fame, urged the masses to show some perspective. After all, this was mere "millions" of dollars engendering the bonus-driven anger, as opposed to the "billions" that AIG has received in bailout bucks. From CNBC's Squawk Box:

SANTELLI: Now, think about it this way. Maybe I'm missing something. But the outrage seems to be about M's, millions of dollars, right? $165 million, OK?

But I would think that it should be looked at as a pretty big positive, because when you go from the M, maybe you should try to go to the B's, which is the billions of dollars, and maybe that's going to even enlighten it for the T, trillions of dollars. You know, $165 million is like worrying about 16.5 cents, while $165 maybe necessitates a little more outrage. What do you guys think?

BECKY QUICK: Hey, Rick, I think the real idea here is just the idea of rewarding bad behavior, which is something you've spoken out against in the past.

SANTELLI: No, I guess what I'm saying is it's an order of magnitude. Don't you think this dynamic that the average guy reading his newspaper is really starting to be in tune with this?

And I think bonuses really strike a cord as to the dynamic you're talking about. But there's many degrees of intensity if one really wants to shine the light on the money that's being scrutinized. You know, there's Ms, Bs and Ts. I just want to know what people think.

All of this goes to the bullshit notions behind this "Teabag Revolution".  This isn't about responsibility.  It's not about protecting taxpayers.  

It's about fomenting a nonsense idea that the average Joe is being screwed, while you're actually the one screwing him.

It's about protecting the status quo using the same dimwit sections of the populace that have always knee-jerked when the wealthy pull their chain.

Santelli is a huckster who sees the end of the road for this shell game, and he's desperately clinging on.

Finally a reasoned approach from the Republicans on AIG

(MSNBC)
Iowa Sen. Charles Grassley suggested on Monday that AIG executives should take a Japanese approach toward accepting responsibility for the collapse of the insurance giant by resigning or killing themselves.

"I suggest, you know, obviously, maybe they ought to be removed," Grassley said. "But I would suggest the first thing that would make me feel a little bit better toward them if they'd follow the Japanese example and come before the American people and take that deep bow and say, I'm sorry, and then either do one of two things: resign or go commit suicide."

Actually, on a gut level, it's hard to disagree.

Medical update: Pope's head still firmly lodged in rectum

(MSNBC)
Pope Benedict XVI said on his way to Africa on Tuesday that condoms were not the answer in the continent's fight against HIV, his first explicit statement on an issue that has divided even clergy working with AIDS patients.

Benedict had never directly addressed condom use. He has said that the Roman Catholic Church is in the forefront of the battle against AIDS. The Vatican encourages sexual abstinence to fight the spread of the disease.

"You can't resolve it with the distribution of condoms," the pope told reporters aboard the Alitalia plane headed to Yaounde, Cameroon, where he will begin a seven-day pilgrimage on the continent. "On the contrary, it increases the problem."

How does one even respond to nonsense of this caliber? Condoms increase the problem? NO THEY DON'T YOU STUPID DIPSHIT!

I am so tired of idealogues who frame issues by deciding what they want the outcome to be and then trying to shape the facts to fit. The earth isn't 6,000 years old because you desperately need it to be, Obama is not a Muslim and condoms don't make AIDS worse.

Of course abstinence works better. Of course it does. And magic carpets would cure our dependence on foreign oil but they're not going to happen either.

Rest in Peace Ron Silver

I didn't agree with the turn he took in becoming a "9/11 Republican", but he always seemed to be a decent man interested not in demonization, but in finding what ties us together.

And he was great on The West Wing.

Daft Punk Live

Colbert on Ayn Rand

The wingnuts have been urging the "successful" in America to "go Galt". In Atlas Shrugged, the main character, fed up with the government taxing him, flees to the woods, starting a movement that paralyzes America when it's producers all walk away.

This also ties into Glenn Becks call to mail bags of tea to the government in April. OK, two thoughts on that.
1) The patriots, who boycotted corporate tea, would scratch their heads at the notion of purchasing tea to mail it in.
2) Does this officially make Glenn Beck a teabagger?

Back to Ayn Rand. Stephen Colbert addresses the nation on it's new, old hero.

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The Word - Rand Illusion

Colbert Report Full Episodes
Political Humor

Rap Battle
NASA Name Contest

John Stewart passes the torch of douchebaggery

In an unaired segment from his Thursday night interview/assault-with-facts of Jim Cramer, Jon Stewart passed his awarded mantle of douchebaggery from ex-CNNer Robert Novak (“Douchebag of Liberty”) to MSNBCer Joe Scarborough (“Doucheborough”).

Stewart told Cramer that he could go back to Scarborough’s Morning Joe with a message about Stewart’s role in the debate:

You now have become the face of this, and that is incredibly unfortunate. Because you’re not the face of it, you shouldn’t be the face of it. You were the person that was, uh, I-don’t-know-what enough to stand up and go, "Hey, that wasn’t fair!" Which it’s not, because this show isn’t fair, and you can tell ‘Doucheborough’ it isn’t supposed to be fair.

Shep Smith is REALLY sarcastic about Glenn Beck....

REALLY, REALLY sarcastic.

In fact, Shep is busting balls. A lot. There'll be a letter from Ailes over this.

...and Glenn Beck really is a douchenozzle

(Nads of Thor)
Glenn Beck writes:

So, how do we show America what’s really behind the curtain? Below are nine simple principles. If you believe in at least seven of them, then we have something in common. I urge you to read the instructions at the end for how to help make your voice heard.

So here they are, with commentary.

1. America is good.
Well, shit, if we all agree on this one, why all the hub-bub? Let’s play some whiffle ball. Whee, America!

2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life.
Because you’re awesome, Glenn, you said I only have to agree with seven of these little bobbles of pure, condensed America, so I’ll take a pass on this one. That said, our forefathers were pretty big fans of keeping religion away from government (Which is where you’re going with this.), so I can’t even imagine what their take on the teachings of Joseph Smith would be. But I’m guessing it’d resemble the sound of colonial age pantaloons being pissed in with laughter.

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.
Guess I should stop telling people stem-cell research will lead to the invention of Dr. Manhattan. Wait. You said that already.

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government.
I agree with you on this one. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority which is why I don’t want the government telling me my daugther can’t get an abortion to save her life. Or my gay son can’t get married. Wow, see what happened there? We agreed on the same general principle - but in totally different ways. That’s called “nuance.”

I’ll give you a minute to collect your exploded skull fragments.

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it.
Hell yes, Beckster! Now, let’s join hands and go arrest the Bush Administration for war crimes, and all those CEOs. HYEAH! - - Why aren’t you coming? Oh, you meant starting NOW. My bad.

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results.
“For colored people, homosexuals, women and the middle class. So lets keep it that way.”
^ Part that got cut off.

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable.
And you’re absolutely right, Glenn. It’s your inalienable right to be an absolute cock to your fellow man. Just like it’s my inalienable right, along with a vast majority of the nation, to vote for socialized health care so Americans can continue to work hard and not die because their well-being isn’t profitable to their HMO. Or in other words, why do you hate people living so much, Glenn?

8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion.
Really? Explain that to Helen Thomas, Bill Maher, the Dixie Chicks and anybody that spoke out against George Bush or the Iraq War. Oh, whoops! Again, you meant starting NOW. Keep forgetting that…

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.
And you’ll show them by mailing Congress bags of tea! Glenn Beck: Constructive solutions since, well, fucking never.

McSweeney's lists

McSweeney's is a gem of a satire magazine on the InterTubes.  Some of the best reading are their lists, below.

But if you want to laugh yourself into spams, read Marvel Comics backs Out Of My Publishing Contract

THE LESSER-
KNOWN SLOGANS OF
POLITICAL MODERATES.

BY KATE JOHANSEN AND KATIE BUKOWSKI

- - - -

Live free or give me a reasonable alternative!

Peace through pragmatism.

Let's all keep our opinions to ourselves for a while!

It's noontime in America.

Some taxation, some representation.

What do we want? Rational discussion? When do we want it? ... What works for you?

Hooray for prudence!

We request change in a reasonable amount of time after comprehensive discussion of the options!

Who wants peanuts?

BROADWAY MUSICALS
WRITTEN BY GENDER-
STUDIES PROFESSORS.

BY SASCHA COHEN

- - - -

Annie Get Your Symbol of Violent, Colonizing Western Masculinity

Hello, Doula!

How to Succeed in Unpaid, Undervalued Domestic Labor Without Really Trying

The Best Little Female-Operated Sex-Worker Co-op in Texas

Bye Bye Burqa

Joseph and the Amazing Heterosexist Dreamcoat of Male Privilege

Jesus Christ Oppressive Religious Figure

Lys Mys

COMMON ILLNESSES
AT THE VATICAN.

BY ELVIS DINGELDEIN

- - - -

Stigmataberculosis

A bad case of the Antichrists

Vaticancer

St. Francis of Alopecia

Exorcysts

Blasphemeasles

Immaculate consumption

Hymnorrhoids

Ave Malaria

Tucker Carlson rips Jon Stewart, it still doesn't work

Tucker Carlson repeatedly blasted Jon Stewart for his grilling of Jim Cramer on "The Daily Show" last Thursday. Carlson, appearing on CNN's "Reliable Sources," called Stewart a "partisan hack," just an operative for the Democratic party, who only took on Cramer and CNBC because they criticized President Obama's budget. Carlson also predicted that Stewart was becoming "so self-serious and sanctimonious that it's just a matter of time before he becomes unfunny."

Apparently, he's still pissed off at Jon Stewart for blowing up both him and his show in 2004. Fast-forward to 12:30 to hear Jon call Tucker a "dick" on live TV.

And notice how, after this Tucker no longer wears bow ties.


Link to Tucker's CNN appearance

Ricky Gervais with Elmo

Ricky Gervais is the guy behind the original edition (U.K.) of the Office.

He's also funny as hell. Here is an absolutely disturbing turn with Elmo, who very surprisingly plays along.