Q: What do athiests believe happens to us when we die? A: What a silly question.

Andrew Sullivan weighs in on the subject of atheism and the question of "What Have Atheists Lost?" and in particular, the question of "What do athiests believe happens to us when we die?".

The entirety of the argument can be followed in Sullivan's links, but frankly, the argument doesn't interest me. I believe what I believe and I feel no need to defend it.

However, there always seems to be the need to explain it to my friends who have faith, and those who question their faith and who love me and want to know about me. 'Why are you content with the idea that there is no God? Aren't you afraid'"

I'll examine this more as I get a chance to commit it to writing, but this reader comment to Sullivan's piece moved me to share now, because it comes as close as anything to explaining what I believe, and more importantly, how it doesn't distress me to believe it.

I have always felt that when I die, I am dead and gone, my conscious life will end, my interactions with others will end, and I will be simply GONE. I don't know what causes consciousness (call it spirit, call it soul, I don't mean to pick sides with my words), but I expect that it will end. My afterlife will be in the memories of those I knew, those who loved me, those who carry me on in their hearts. I, myself, cease to exist.

This gives me a beautiful, shockingly beautiful sense of the Now. Being in the present, the here and now, is the ultimate reward of life. I am constantly gobsmacked by the minutiae of life; I stand in awe of the things around me right fucking now. There's no reward, no judgment, no heaven, no hell. I live right fucking now.

And this, referring to Kevin Drum, author of the original piece.

"I wonder what Kevin thinks happens to him when he dies?"

I think the fact that you have to ask this question at all says a lot about how the fear of death is inextricably tied to a belief in higher powers in the minds of theists. To one such as I, who shares Kevin's views, the answer is rather obvious and intuitive. Nothing is going to happen to him when he dies, because there won't be a 'him' for anything to happen to.

As for your follow up question- "And how does he feel about that - not just emotionally but existentially?"- I can only speak for myself, but again, the fact that you feel the need to ask this question says a lot about the source of your faith. Forgive me if this sounds overly judgmental, but to me terms like "faith" and "spirituality" are just shorthand for an individual's inability to cope with the concept of oblivion. Why must one feel anything particular about it in the first place? I am. One day, I will not be. This doesn't bother me and I don't understand the need to waste the precious gift of sentience agonizing about such things.

I recognize that some people can't shrug off the idea of not existing in some form. Take my husband for instance. He has an overdeveloped fear of oblivion but can't bring himself to believe in fairy tales. He takes comfort in philosophy. In the words of (probably) Marcus Aurelius:

‘Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.’

Or, to quote Vonnegut: "So it goes".